I *totally* understand the need to know the reasoning behind an idea in order to come to your *own* decision on how you feel about that idea. It's the basis for rationalist humanism, after all. You don't simply accept what you're told like a spoon fed baby. You have to get an explanation that makes sense to your head AND your heart that makes you go "hmm. Ok. I can see it now."

That's why I say things in as many different ways that I can on the same topic. Not because I'm preaching, though god, I know it sounds like I am. But simply because if I restate it "this" way or "that" way, my ideas might finally make some sense to the people who desperately want them to make sense so that they can then decide for themselves how they feel on an issue.

That it took you until this comment to get what I was saying tells me exactly that, that I have to keep trying, and that I'm really piss poor at trying to explain things since it takes so long for what I know in my heart to get translated adequately onto paper.

It's kind of why someone saying "I'm tired, not stupid" hurts, because I'm not trying to make anyone feel stupid. People are telling me that my explanations aren't enough, but that they still really want to know the answers, so I just set about again trying to better explain it. I'm just not all that adequate with the tools I have to do it all in one shot.

This issue has so many layers, and one of the thinnest and most insignificant are the few homophobes in this fandom. This discussion isn't for them. They will reject gayness in any form it takes with any character in any story in any fandom.

It's not even about those who are most definitely NOT homophobes who simply do not see the two main characters in a romantic relationship--which, to my mind, is the VAST majority (like what, ninety nine percent?) of the "gen" folk out there.

THEY didn't come up with the label after all. THEY don't use it.

It's only for the folks who *do* use it, and wanting to know the reasons behind its usage, and to interject that it is a thing that, even though it doesn't mean to, divides the fandom into categories that wind up unintentionally and totally without malice of ANY sort causing hurt to a certain portion of the people who bat from the same side of the plate, pairings wise.

I know that folks who use slash don't use it to hurt anyone. I know that before this conversation, most of those same folks didn't even realize at all that it could BE something that could cause hurt. Slash is a separation made only with the very best, noblest, most innocent of intentions.

Regardless, it is still a separation. And for those of us who have lived our lives BEING separate and only wish to be viewed as normal, it puts us back in the very box we've been spending our lives trying to break free from.

So the exchange of information is good. It lets everyone know that even things done for the most wonderful of reasons can unknowingly cause hurt in those that one wishes to honor. We all do it, simply becasue there is no other set of shoes that we can walk in but our very own.

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