They Took The Torino . . . and other irritations

[peg22]

So my parents, who live in the "safe suburbs", got their car stolen. Out of their garage. 
But, they have ONSTAR. So an exciting police chase ensued. Cuz they immediately called ONSTAR and located the car driving through a different safe suburb. Which, of course, ended with the "perp" (yes it does sound odd coming out of my mother's mouth) wrecking the car into a tree.

So while all this is scary and exciting, considering I was spending the night at the parents and had to wake up at 6am with the rest of them when my mother discovered the missing auto, the worst part was:

THEY STOLE MY TORINO. 

Right out of the trunk of MY CAR. Which was sitting in the driveway in front of the house. Which no one would want to steal, but they found the need to rifle through the contents and then 

TOOK THE TORINO! The famous one - from the summer roadtrip. Bastard burgler stealer thiefs!

So when the guy was caught - NO TORINO. 

Where is it? There must have been an ACCOMPLICE. A passenger. A partner in crime.

But, I'm over it. Cuz my sweet peaches won me another on on EBAY. Ahhhhhh, sweet peaches.

So now my parents are fortifying their house like, well, not to wax too cliche but, FORT KNOX.

And my 8 year old niece is having nightmares about people getting in her house.
And my 3 year old niece thinks that Jesus will get them cuz, according to her, 
"Jesus puts people in jail for being bad"
And my 9 year old nephew thinks if the burglar had a nice family, and a job, 
he might not need our car.

And that is the entire American pysche all neatly tied up in a red, white and blue ribbon:

Fear and misguided religious zeal tempered with a pinch of compassion and universalistic leanings.

But, I am proud to say, they did manage to work up some healthy vengeful 
thoughts over the TORINO.

Smart kids.

Comments

[callistosh65.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I know it's traumatic and everything, but I chortled the whole way through this - you shouldn't be so damn witty, girl.*g* Love the idea of 'perp' coming out of your mum's mouth, and aw..., I'm very relieved the Torino loss has been compensated. Bloody cheek!

I must say that your nieces and nephews encapsulate the breadth and depth of Americana quite perfectly, though I do hope your folks stop before they get to the rifle across the knees on the front porch swing..

[peg22.livejournal.com]

Well, my dad got all misty-eyed when the police told him about a home invasion where the homeowner shot at the burglar - and you know my dad has like . . . 12 guns scattered throughout the house . . .

oh yeah. right to bear arms. whatever.

[true-brit.livejournal.com]

Thrilled you got a new Torino, but they took the Torino! *wibbles*

Theft is such a huge farkin' violation of that sense of safety we all think we're gifted with. Gone in an instant. Seriously, they have the right idea in the "backward" Middle Eastern nations - cut the bastards' hands off.

[sjames-centre.livejournal.com]

You need to think of the lost Torino like the one that blew up in one episode (fill in the blank someone please) and then was back unscathed in the next. Or the new Darren in Bewitched. Not better or worse, just new.

[true-brit.livejournal.com]

I have to work through the grief and outrage phases before Postive Thinking kicks in :D

'Sploding Torino would be... The Set-Up? *winces and cringes in anticipation of being struck by a fandom thunderbolt*

[peg22.livejournal.com]

yes, the Set-Up.

once again, if you perhaps WATCHED an episode . . . just sayin . . .

[sjames-centre.livejournal.com]

i watched them...i just don't remember them.

[peg22.livejournal.com]

I know - the worst part is the Torino loss! And the prosecutor's office has sent them a form about damages and loss - how can I ever quantify THAT?!!

[true-brit.livejournal.com]

seriously, what value can you put on:
A. an icon
B. a much-loved traveling companion
C. the silent star of fan pic-fic-dom

Multiply sticker price by three then add a string of zeros after

[shfan.livejournal.com]

Well, you have a lot of photo evidence that you did own it. Perhaps you should submit them?

[sjames-centre.livejournal.com]

One replacement Torino $38.00
Shipment from eBay $10
Memories of the old Torino: Priceless

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

They took the TORINO!!!

That's just whack.

And I'm sorry for the trauma your relatives went through. Poor things.

[peg22.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!

The injustice! The agony. Thank heaven the boys were out somewhere . . .

[troyswann.livejournal.com]

Oh for criminy's sake, is nothing sacred? Man.

[peg22.livejournal.com]

I know - but they did have good taste, the robbers. There was also a 1945 silver quarter in my car that was worth like 50 bucks . . .

[cynatnite.livejournal.com]

Your 9 year old nephew and I would get along great :)

Glad you got a replacement. I would've cried, too.

[peg22.livejournal.com]

Yes, took the sting out when I knew another one was on the way . . . but still!

Yeah, that kid is something else. Hope he remains that way . . .

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

Now see, the thing I love about you (not to worry sweet peaches -- I wouldn't dare!) is that you can go through scariness and loss and still have your wit about you. Your assessment of the allegory supplied by the chorus of tots (Bubenallegorischechor?)is a priceless example of why you write fiction so well: the ability to distance yourself from the emotional to see What It All Means.

Thinking pleasant thoughts about Karmic Law now...you don't need no steenkin' ONSTAR for that kind.

Blessings on your new Torino. It will soon be famous in its own right :-)

[peg22.livejournal.com]

ahh thanks mara - needed the boost.

have always been able to turn my "stuff" into sentences.
Guess that's why my one woman show was called "Fertile, Fat, and Forty"

And Karmic law suits me just fine!