peg22: (davidbw)
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 . . . for the birthday boy. Wrote it for LS. My partner-in-crack and trusted fellow.  And because I can't let the day go by without a little Fry . . .


So it would seem our fair haired birthday boy is out of sorts due to a certain British bloke's sudden shrinkage - in the good way. Well, here, see for yourselves:






To: FryDaddy@yahoo.com

From: Solberg828@hotmail.com

 

Re:

 

Hey, Jenny Craig – saw your picture in the Times and thought you had a younger, sexier brother. You look craggy, but  . . . good. And I’ll deny I ever said that, so stop with the eyebrows. What I need to know is - how? I may need to drop a few myself in a couple of months and if you can do it, I can certainly do it – I know for a fact you haven’t said no to an order of chips since 1983. And my Guinness stock has not dropped, so I know you’re still boozing. So what is it? The Zone sucks, so I won’t even try that. And Paulie told me about some damn grapefruit cleanse but I hate grapefruit. So spill it, Fry. You owe me. And don’t make me remind you why. And don’t go twittering on all about this on your damn Facespace page. I know where the bodies are buried.

 

DS

 

 

To: Solberg828@hotmail.com

From: FryDaddy@yahoo.com

 

Re: Your waistline and below . . .

 

My dear darling delusional David Kenneth Soul. How you set my heart to singing with your praise, heaped upon my shrinking countenance as if I were the very brisket you’ve been tucking away every Sunday until your gabardines are bursting. Mind the gap, dear fellow. And your threats, as thinly veiled as your attempt to mention your erstwhile and elsewhere occupied partner in crime, fall upon deaf ears. I will never divulge my secret to slimming success. I cannot. What happens to me when you show up all sinew and sass?  You’ll probably regrow that moustache and we’ll all be happily transported back to 1979, when you were all balls and bravado and what are you doing home, by the way? Isn’t it senior day at the shops? I’d hate to see you miss out on the savings, you with your abysmal residual income and your finely honed taste for the Pabst Blue Ribbon. Bonne Fete, mi amour. And the bodies have been moved.

 

Lovingly,

Stephen

 

 

 

To: FryDaddy@yahoo.com

From: Solberg828@hotmail.com

 

Damn if you don’t know how to pansy up a page. So you’re telling me that you’re not telling me how you lost that pasty white gut, eh? And I’ll have you know, there is not a whiff of residual income around here for decades, if you don’t count Paulie’s residuals . . .  And speaking of my goddamn birthday – did you get the invite? I’m having a few friends over and my better nature (yes, his name is Paul) told me to include you. I guess McKellan and Spacey weren’t enough for him. And I already phoned Hugh and got all the details to your diet. And invited him. So don’t miss it. I may need you to keep your boyfriend off my boyfriend. On second thought, maybe not. Looks like you lost a lot of muscle. Take care and ta ta and all that other bullshit.

 

DS

 

 

To: Solberg828@hotmail.com

From: FryDaddy@yahoo.com

 

My dear Lord in heaven, where do I start? First and foremost, he is not my boyfriend. You are. Secondly, I know for a fact Spacey is in America doing some dreadful telepic and McKellan swore off all things “you” ever since you gave him a pony ride into the Thames. On another one of your unfortunate birthdays.  I am, however, intrigued that the better of your rapidly expanding halves will be joining you for your event. I could use a little dalliance with that finely sculpted derrière and he has yet to see me in such fine figure. Who knows, he may finally throw you over – could this be the beginning of the end for our long betrothed crime fighters? Will Starsky come to his senses and tip his hat toward a rather tall and fabulously fit Brit? Or will he lose his nerve and continue to feed his erstwhile lion, whose roar is fast becoming a most modest mew? Stay tuned, as they say in the biz . . .

 

XOXO

Stephen

 

 

To: FryDaddy@yahoo.com

From: Solberg828@hotmail.com

 

You’re really pissing me off now.  I’d take back the invite, but you’d show up anyway. Hell bent on proving some point. Probably show off in front of Hugh – you say he’s not your boyfriend, but you forget I was in Brighton, too. I saw it all. Quite a show.  And keep your damn dalliance off my derriere. He’s mine and some skinny assed twit is not going to come between thirty years of something you will never understand. Got it?  And bring me a good present. And no more bellboys okay? Or bartenders.  And you’re going to give me that diet. Why? Two words. Jude Law.

 

DS

 

 

To: Solberg828@hotmail.com

From: FryDaddy@yahoo.com

 

You loathsome, vicious, repugnant man.  I extend the gracious hand of fellowship and camaraderie and you bite me to the bone.  Reluctantly, I am forced to comply with your demands and you will find an attachment herewith. That is, of course, if you know what an attachment is and where to find it.  Although I understand you’ve been using other sorts of attachments for years. And I too have very strong memories of Brighton. And your little Starsky. And Dr. House. My, my, maybe the bodies are not buried so deep as to warrant an exhumation and reexamination of who knows what and who did what and to whom and with whom and for whom?? Hmmm?  I shall be in attendance at the dirge. Your present will be suitable for a man in your advanced state of agedness. And as always, you know I adore you.

 

Stephen

.

Date: 2009-08-28 03:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dipslikeramon.livejournal.com
ROFLMAO!!!! TOtal and unabashed CRACKYNESS!!!!!! *bows in 'omage'.

And since my birthday is in six days, I'll pretend it's MY present, too! :D

Date: 2009-08-28 07:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peg22.livejournal.com
oh you'll get a present . . .

yes, we all love the crackyness . . .

Date: 2009-08-28 04:00 pm (UTC)
ext_25473: my default default (David Soul 2008)
From: [identity profile] lauramcewan.livejournal.com
Yesterday, I was moaning to [livejournal.com profile] enednoviel about how hard my life was being, and stressful, and that I wanted and needed some crack.

3000 miles away, you heard me. (yes, it *is* all about me.)

As ever, I am fascinated with how well you can get two entirely different voices.

*grovels at your feet*

Date: 2009-08-28 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peg22.livejournal.com
so glad to bring you the crack - does that make me the pusher or the mule???

their voices are so different in my head. at least I think it's their voices . . . hmnmnm

glad you liked it girly!

Date: 2009-08-28 04:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ancastar.livejournal.com
Ha! You know of course the first thing I did when I opened the link was scan for J2. Sadly, they weren't invited to this particular fete. Still, no matter. It seems the invitees have enough on their hands. Loved it. You were really my introduction to RPF. Yours is so lusciously cracky, however, that I've never felt a moment's guilt. :-)

Date: 2009-08-28 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peg22.livejournal.com
oh don't give up sistah, there is still the party to come. and guess what up and coming tv duo paulie decides to bring???? (no, not the boys from Pysch . . .

yes, there is no guilt - just crack.

Date: 2009-08-28 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ancastar.livejournal.com
Yay, yay, yay!

I think that says it all. :-)

Date: 2009-08-28 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thayln.livejournal.com
*hides under desk with door closed so office won't hear wild laughter*

Ian?! You're going to drag poor Ian into this? Woman, have you no shame?

*shakes head sadly*

Only you can make me not only read RPS, but crave it like potato chips.

Date: 2009-08-28 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peg22.livejournal.com
you know Sir Ian would chew them up and spit them out!
and sometimes potato chips are GOOD FOR YOU!
thanks for reading "the transcripts" :)

Date: 2009-08-29 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mashfanficchick.livejournal.com
HEE!!! As usual, I was so desperate to read this, I did it in front of an audience...but--fortunately--this time one who didn't care that I spent the whole fic laughing my ass off and uttering various deities names in vain. *g*

The only question now, of course, is...is it wrong to simultaneously thank you for this hilarious bit o' awesome and beg you to tell us of the birthday party proper? Not that a negative is going to stop me; I was just wondering. :-D

Waiting, as always, for more....
Edited Date: 2009-08-29 03:06 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-08-29 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peg22.livejournal.com
oh thanks girly - glad you got to read it - you're one of the reasons I like to write it!

and yes, the birthday party is coming . . . so to speak . . . probably not till Monday though . . . teacher has to read her textbook first!

Date: 2009-08-29 04:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callistosh65.livejournal.com
And you’re going to give me that diet. Why? Two words. Jude Law. The point at which my chuckle muscle officially collapsed. Hip-deep as I am now in the world of J2 RPS, you are the touchstone, bachgen. No one does it better.

Date: 2009-09-01 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peg22.livejournal.com
thanks girly. am trying to get J2 at the big birthday party, but just got handed a class to teach, so Fry may be on his own . . we'll see. Hmmm J2 rps, really???

Date: 2009-09-01 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] callistosh65.livejournal.com
Hmmm J2 rps, really??? AUs mostly - it's like this wonderful library of m/m stories is suddenly *there* online for me to dip into. Some cracking writers write these huge long novels with all that pretty as spies, cardiologists, sculptors, etc, etc. And I like some of the RPS non AU that's out there too. Go figure. Oh, and friggin' KIDFIC....*g*
Edited Date: 2009-09-01 04:39 pm (UTC)

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