Just because I live in Canada, doesn't mean I've succumbed to politeness

[peg22]

So this has been an interesting fandom weekend . . .

I am struck by the similarites between the Me and Thee Slash conversation and the Native Americans' struggle ( and really, it should be EVERYONE's struggle for fuck's sake)  to get their symbols and terms OUT OF THE NFL. I don't believe anyone can really look at the name Washington REDSKINS and not find it offensive.

Ward Churchill - yes the much maligned college professor/Native American activist - has a GREAT article on this struggle.

It's the best thing I used in classes to really get the kids to understand argument and position and satire, and the fact that if the only reason they are holding tight to their Kansas CIty Chiefs jersey is because "But I love the Chiefs" it's not a valid reason. Especially in the face of the protests.

It's here: http://www.dickshovel.com/crimes.html


And my last real words on the subject of slash and warnings and misuse of words and language are not mine, and not about the fandom, but eerily parallel the ideas I think - it's from a reaction to the fact that the Washington Redskins actually won their lawsuit to keep their name - which is about as offensive as a name can get . . .

You can spare me the protestations about how the name is actually a tribute to Native Americans, (Vikings? Really?) are also consigned to mascot status. You can skip the talk about the importance of the team name to its fans or the tradition that would be compromised were it to be changed. I’m not hearing it, because if I close my eyes and think about where we are as a society and the fact that this name still exists, it’s a complete travesty on both visceral and logical levels.

And this:

The fact that even a handful of them were upset enough to sue to stop the name from existing, a legal fight that has gone on for 17 years and counting, should be enough to let decency prevail. And if you’re angrily composing an email telling me how the name’s meaning to you and your fellow fans supersedes the desires of these people not to be publicly lampooned, I’m going to bet my last Abe Lincoln note that you’re not a member of a traditionally oppressed minority group.


We are a bewildered and unhappy household tonight. Okay it's not my last word - my last word is this:

I fight an almost daily struggle to get my mother to accept my upcoming wedding. "I understand you want to be together, but why does it have to be "marriage?" "No, I don't want to hear anything about it - I just don't want to think about it." "Can't you just be companions?" 

It puts an unexpected rain cloud over the happiest time of my life . . . so when a simple request, like leveling out the playing field by losing the distinction between gay and straight in a fandom who constantly boasts of being so open-minded and "gay-friendly" - it's a heartwrencher. And just like the Native Americans - I don't care if you "love" slash and use it as a good thing and as an easy search engine term, I am telling you it is offensive because it also says that same sex relationships have to be separated - one has to be warned, or informed, or reminded that same sex relationships are NOT LIKE EVERYONE elses and should not be treated as such.
 


 

Comments

Re: Butting into to other people's conversations again, continued

[dipslikeramon.livejournal.com]

I do see that, and I have done my share of blowing up. But it wasn't because I was mad at the people I was trying to get through to...I was mad at *myself* for failing to explain something so vitally important to me. It seeems that the closer to the heart a topic is for me, the more poorly I express myself, when that should be the very time I express myself best, you know?

But objective things that don't touch me as much personally I can write about without this all consuming passion causing me to stutter and say stuff in odd or incomprehensible ways.

This is so much harder, becasue to tell a bunch of friends, to tell a bunch of supporters that something they do out of love and respect is hurtful...man...that's hard. Which is why I went with the flow for years since joining this active online fandom, until for certain reasons, I just couldn't anymore.

I knew I was going to rock the boat against the people I most cared for, those on *both* sides of the pairings fence, and I knew that I was going to piss some folks off who I genuinely adore.

But sometimes, you have to take that risk. Just like coming out to my parents was something that I knew would piss off the people who meant the most to me. But I simply couldn't live a lie anymore, and my need to come clean meant more than my need to have unconditional support from those I love and who love me back.

I know that there's a lot of talk out there that I'm shoving things down people's throats, or demanding that a long-standing tradition in this fandom be changed.

I can't change any tradition but my own. But I can and will explain why I have made the decision I have and try to get people to understand my point of view. I didn't start any of this becasue, hell, it was a slow month and I didn't have anything else to do. It is something that is very important to me as a person and the time had come for it to come out.

It may have cost me the friendships of people I genuinely adore. I am sorry about that. But I can't be sorry about asking to be heard.

Re: Butting into to other people's conversations again, continued

[mashfanficchick.livejournal.com]

*shrugs* Maybe I'm missing something, but when you first mentioned the idea of changing headers on...one of the comms, I think. Maybe me_and_thee1000? Whatever. When you first mentioned it, my feeling was kind of "Okay, if this is what we're doing now, I guess I'll adapt, the way I did during that period where everyone decided we were going to stop using movie ratings, and then thankfully changed their minds. Maybe this'll go away, too, since I think it'll be a pain in the ass." Not that I'm defending that position, but that was my thought. I had no problem with your request that the standard be changed. I just...didn't care that much. It was only AFTER people started fighting about it that I decided that I didn't want to get involved, and that--since I didn't have a strong reason to change my style, and I did have (an admittedly selfish) one not to--I was just going to continue on my merry way, using the categories I was used to. For me, at least, it was never about you stating your feelings. It was about a fandom-wide kerfluffle, and my need to stay the hell away from it. So, if it helps, I never thought you did anything wrong (originally; I have no idea what's gone on since then--since I've been hiding--and you mentioned blowing up, so...yeah).

*really needs a "shrugs" icon*

Re: Butting into to other people's conversations again, continued

[peg22.livejournal.com]

you have a cute butt. and that is by no way a come on - just a funny linguistic pun (or bun - if I wanted to take the soupy sales route) happy 4th girly!